Rydertech

I’ve found a killer feature in Windows 7 that pretty much cinches it for my default operating system. Though of course you’ve already read the title and know where I’m going, play along: this killer feature is not one of the (somewhat) gimmicky and over-hyped Aero capabilities, it’s not Libraries, the new Taskbar, or anything from the UI; and it’s not the OS 9 Classic-like XP Mode (which should have been included in every version of Windows 7, and also should have been offered in Vista). In fact, the feature I’m talking about was available in Vista, too, though it was (and remains) buried in an area of the Sound Preferences that few would ever tread. When I used Vista (over two years ago) I must have passed it several times without ever paying it any mind.

Loudness Equalization. This effect, which is just a plain vanilla volume compressor, is, in today’s YouTube-obsessed culture, an absolute killer feature. The original intent of this feature, as could be expected, was to eliminate the dynamic contrast in DVD movies so that viewers can watch a movie relatively quietly without either disturbing others or else missing dialogue in softer sections. However, as the popularity of YouTube has grown, it has a new, absolutely essential function: combating ear rape.

Ear rape isn’t funny. It isn’t amusing, cool, or creative. It’s imbecilic, obnoxious, and it pisses me off to no end when YouTube video authors do it (usually in YouTube Poop videos). I’ve been searching for a long time for a way to eliminate its effects that doesn’t rely on specific, proprietary solutions offered by/requiring the use of aftermarket soundcards. I was going about it the wrong way—I thought there might be a Firefox plugin that could somehow shim in between the Flash plugin and the sound subsystem, making for a truly cross-platform solution. Sadly, this hasn’t been realized (if it’s even possible). But while searching aimlessly through the settings in my Windows 7 partition, I found the following dialog:

By default, it’s off. Just click the check mark and hit Apply, and it should be activated. The feature isn’t very customizable—the release is the only parameter you can set—but it works fairly well. It doesn’t catch everything, but it does enough that I can watch YouTube videos now without having to constantly adjust the volume. Of course, you can use this for its intended purpose as well—just pop in a DVD and the dynamics should be ironed out pretty nicely. On the other hand, it’s a bit cumbersome to have to keep remembering to turn it on and off. Still, I’m very glad it exists. YouTube is a tamer, gentler place because of it.